Today I opened my email inbox to a subject line so bad, it added a nice slice of humor into my daily morning routine. I thought the text of the Tarzan-esque email is worth sharing not only for its absolute funniness, but also as an example of what not to do when sending emails promoting a service or asking for a link.
Enjoy :)
What you offer conditions on placing of LINKS at yourselves on a site?
by Alies Smeehon
I would like to try to place links at you on a site for money.
What conditions of placing and the price in a month for the main page and for internal pages?
How much you can place links?
How much you would like to receive for placing of the block of links on your pages?
P.S.
If you have a desire to automate processes of sale ?r purchase links,
It is more reasonable to use one of systems of Smart Link Marketing – for example,
To start job with system it is necessary to establish a script, to put down cost of links.
After that you will start to take money – daily, automatically.
It is not obligatory to you to sell links with the main page, links from internal pages are very well bought.
If at you high Pr and you in Dmoz you can receive that from 2000$ to 4000$ in a month having placed 1-2 link to page.
Oh yeah, these guys don’t offer their own service by link to the affiliate program of a link advertising company. Bad, bad practice and even worse execution. Albeit somewhat poetic :)
You high PR, me link buyer…
Sounds as if they have a bad translator tool.
Holy smokes that’s terrible. While I understand the value proposition of outsourcing work to less skilled resources, it can’t be at the expense of quality!
It just goes to show that you cannot cut corners when it comes to requesting a link. If you’re doing your link building right, then any link you have to email or call for should be done with the utmost of care, tact and sincerity since you’ve only got one chance at getting it!
Great post – and thanks for sharing :)
We receive these all the time. And if our spam catcher doesn’t automatically dump them first, we delete them without bothering to read the email itself. I can’t imagine anyone actually trades links with these sites.
It is not nice to ridicule people. The Internet is a global community. English happens to be the dominant language. Many are learning so as to become part of the mainstream.
These are human beings just like anyone else.
They are reaching out to you. You don’t know how different your life would have been had you been living in another nation where English is not spoken.
The request that was made is still a valid request REGARDLESS of what the person’s culture or background is
This is a Human Being
Respond with empathy – see if there site is good and worthy of being promoted.
We have to overcome stereotypes to make the global Internet truly a universal shared experience :-D
I have to empathize a bit with the person, if not the link-spammer. I once had to contact a German ISP with a combination of my very elementary German language skills and Alta Vista’s Babelfish. One of the guys over there finally called me and told me, in English, that his team had no idea what I was trying to say, but that it was the best laugh they had had all month :)
Wow, that is a new record.
Thanks for sharing; it’s gold.
I don’t see why Loren should show mercy to a spammer selling a service that violates search engine guidelines.
If you’re going to mass spam webmasters or bloggers with an email message, and you are not familiar with the native tongue of that target market (assuming this person does not speak English, they could just be a very bad writer) it does not take very much effort to find someone who does understand the language of the target market.
I’ve run various projects in other languages and have never relied on Google Translator or Babel Fish to professionally translate a document.
That extra effort, at the end of the day, can make a very positive difference.
///it does not take very much effort to find someone who does understand the language of the target market
You don’t know this person’s individual circumstances. Can anyone really judge accurately or ridicule without knowing all the facts.
We can not dismiss Human Beings because of what appears to be on the surface.
You will never know what this relationship could have developed into – because you never gave it a chance.
The bottom line is – this is still a person! Give them the benefit of the doubt…..
SEWeb, I love all people and thanks for your concern :)
Haha, I’m writing this as I lay on the floor laughing while sadly realizing that I’ve missed on a great source of entertainment. I always mark them as spam and move on, but from now on I will read a few. Thank you for sharing.
I love the blanket requests that I receive with the opening line, “Hello Webmaster.” That’s an automatic delete. Pretty lame of them to have affiliate links in the email. Makes you wonder how effective it is for them.
Selling links is against Google’s ranking policy. You can file a complaint againts the webmaster who sent this email.
Pratheep
@ Search◆ Engines Web – So… have you gotten your share of the $41,000,000 that you helped that dude transfer over from the Central Bank of Nigeria?
I’ve got to stop letting my five year old type my link requests…
Wow.. I am interested loll.. People still live in 1990’s search engine linking strategies
Wow, that’s classic. At least you could tell (more or less) what they were trying to get at – I’ve had some spam that I really could not tell at all what they were trying to sell/promote.
Oh man.. This makes the one i received yesterday a scholar!
“We see that your traffic rank is 4344587 and your link popularity is 18.
Also, we see that you are online since 18/02/2006.
This is maybe the major program since the launch of Google.
With that kind of traffic, we will pay you up to $4,800/month to advertise our links on your website.”
now thats a crazy email and it definitely sounds like a bad translator tool.
….and hilarity ensues….
gee I hate typos
ha ha… I love it…
I wonder if he has much success from there… and if, by annoying webmasters with his spelling he get a response that isn’t that better than simply be deleted?
Simon Dance
I’m supposed to feel empathy for someone trying to pull a scam? I don’t think so Tim.
“pull a scam” – that’s a bit strong don’t you think?
Genius. I find myself agreeing with the no sympathy brigade. Fair enough to try and hold hands across the planet but this is clearly scamtastic – and a poorly executed too.
Justin – I’ve actually got a folder for saving spam. Some of the subject lines are verging on the poetic
eg. Ring Flower Banana Earth Egg Bathroom Pillow
or my personal favourite
Adult Child Hammer Pepper Torpedo Bible Map
And they say computers aren’t creative.
cant stand spammers of any kind,allways delete without even looking i might look at the odd one now and again now though :)
absolute classic :)
Please email me with phone offers.