As the SEO industry has slowly evolved over the past five years in response to Google’s aggressive initiatives to combat web spam (and those looking to game the system) in order to produce the most relevant results for user queries, SEO’s have recently needed to make the choice between Generation X (Black-Hat) strategies played by Ethan Hawke or the recommendations from the yuppie overlord (Google) played by Ben Stiller.
Those involved in the industry know we haven’t always been held in the highest of regards and to those that have not made the transition to dress up and look like a doily we are seeing the effects of negative SEO. Subtle trends within our antagonist’s story have led to successful marketing campaigns (Verizon: Can you hear me now?). But gross inaccuracies of Houston SEO’s having access to Big Gulps (Did Google plant the Big Gulp?) lead us to question the motives of many of the twists in our evolution.
But, enough of the IMDB fact checking. The first 30-40 minutes, 7-10 years in SEO time, our film drags on with no real change, consequence or purpose. Troy Dyer (SEO Slacker Golden Boy) rules the web. He has a haggle of followers who mostly believe this winter of discontent will live forever. But, let’s not be Evian (naïve), we all saw this coming right? We all new Michael Grates (Ben Stiller) would eventually clip our car as we defiantly tossed a lit cigarette at him.
Grunge is Black-Hat and it rocks! Hard! Or at least was thought of for quite some time. Fashion and trends tend to make their way back twenty years removed. So, possibly pink haired, flannel-wearing hackers are on the come back in 2014.
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Now that Graves (Ben Stiller) is in our lives we have been forced with the challenge of choice and evolution. A good thing. A righteous thing. Cool? Lelaina (Winona Ryder – Who I would have cast as the fabulous Melissa Fach – No, she’s not Black-Hat – But she is cool) struggles with the intense pressure from her clients (or bosses) and thrashes her last Black-Hat SEO Stand on cue-cards and gets fired. She is tortured and revolts against the establishment in her refusal to accept the way things are changing. Who really want’s to work at the GAP anyway?
We can’t prove it for sure, but quite possibly our yuppie overlord off’ed Troy’s Father in the first Penguin Update on April 24th (One day prior to the birthday of Renee Zellweger, who made her film debut in our story). So Black-Hat SEO goes into mourning and forced to reevaluate his life and how he approaches his vocation.
Eventually our two protagonists reunite (post Violent Femmes cover) and are most possibly working in Social Media now. As the credits role we see our producer of our entire evolution has always been Michael Graves (Ben Stiller). Pulling the strings. Changing lives. For better or for worse it still bites.
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